“We want to kick ass” is now “We want YOU to kick ass”.
The word “YOU” is more important than just making a message personal. It identifies the person through the person’s eyes.
So when you say that you are having a cosmic night and its only $14.95 per person; what personal message are you sending?
None. That’s right. None.
And that is why your email doesn’t get opened by more than 10% to 12% of the people. Simply because it is not personal enough nor does it ring true of what a person really wants. WIFM (what’s in it for me).
Instead, this holiday season make your emails sound more inviting by saying things like:
“Spend the holidays with us and get in some real family time that you will never forget.”
“Take a break from the busy holiday stress and spend time bowling with your family for the good times that you will always remember at (center name).”
“Holiday shopping got you down? You deserve a break. GO bowling at (center name and enjoy some holiday time with your family and without all the stress.”
“Make yourself happy this holiday season and let the good times roll with your family at (center name).”
Get it? Got it! Good!